I will never be the girl with an MFA from a fancy art school who drinks whiskey and builds furniture in her living room and laughs at everyone’s jokes, even the unfunny ones. 

I will never be the girl who wakes up at 5.30am to get to SoulCycle. 

I will never be the girl who throws her best friend an amazing bachelorette party in Atlantic City.

I will never be the girl who stays until last call. 

I will never be the girl who turns down free food.

I will never be the girl who pulls out her camera at every opportunity to take photos of her friends.

I will never be the girl who describes a $130 dress from J.Crew as a “steal”. 

I will never be the girl you describe to your friends as “mysterious”, “hard to get to know” or “an enigma”.